The gay fitness instructor

Operation ‘Beach Bod’: Day 3 (53 days until I can eat chocolate)

I wasn’t going to blog about my lunchtime gym sesh today, but that was until I walked into Body Pump class and heard “Oh-Em-GEE, laydeez. Let’s move those tushes. We have 2 minutes’ til class. Set yourselves up woo!”

This, my friends, is what I call the complete tutti-fruity fitness instructor and they’re AWESOME. For starters, every instruction somehow develops a slightly sexual connotation:

Step back girls. You know it’s better from behind.”  — Lunges
Push ladies. Push. That’s it. Push harder! Just go for it!” — Shoulder presses
Get low. Lower. LOWER. Now stay there and don’t move until it hurts.” — Squats

And then I love how they come out with random motivational phrases that make no sense whatsoever:

“Come on ladies, you can do this. The universe is life and life is surreal.” — I swear I laughed so hard I nearly dropped my weights.
“Mind over matter. And IT matters girls. Oh does it matter!” —Yes IT does matter. Erm, what exactly?
“Why are you here ladies? To PUMP ladies. To PUMP. So get PUMPING!”

Finally, despite Body Pump having set exercise and music lists, our instructor today (possibly called Tristen..or Troy…Trent?) managed to sneak in some Kylie. Nothing like a bit of bicep curling to little Miss Aussie pocket-rocket. Oh, those hot pants…



5 thoughts on “The gay fitness instructor

  1. Ohhh my gosh, this post made me laugh so hard. I can only imagine what an instructor like this would be like. I am whoa jealous of your experience!

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