Harold Camping is "mystified" and "a little bewildered" that the Rapture did not go as he predicted. Well so am I!

It’s Monday morning and *checks arms and legs* it seems I’m still here, still fully formed having not been obliterated by hurricane winds, sweeping floods or super-speedy Rapture ninjas. It seems Judgement Day didn’t judge as well as it should have otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here at my desk, occasionally shuffling papers and stapling things together  just to look busy. I would be, I imagine, in a place far more exciting, possibly a little hotter with the occasional fiery pit.

Which brings me to question: ‘Why wasn’t I judged?’

I’m not a wholly outstanding citizen. I’ve gotten onto trains without buying a ticket, run across the road when the Red Man is flashing and pushed into queues.

I’ve been late to work, pretended to lose my phone when really I just couldn’t be arsed talking to you and I have also forgotten my mother’s birthday. Twice.

Now I would think all of the above would entitle me to some sort of judgement, but evidently not.

The Britain's Got Rapture judges were really tough this year.

While the peeps at eBible Fellowship were busy calculating the exact time and date when families averaging 2.3 children would be sucked up into the stratosphere without an alternative oxygen supply or colouring crayons to keep the little ones busy during that tedious ascension, we should have been creating a check-list of requirements that one would need to fulfil in order to be judged and sent to heaven, hell or somewhere in between.

Are we there yet?

Quite frankly, the bible just doesn’t give enough detail.

It teases us with what’s going to happen…

Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

Matthew 24:21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.

…But nothing on how to join in on all the fun, or even who’s going to be there! Terrible event-management if you ask me!

Tickets are non-refundable

I suspect I am not the only one to be disappointed.

So for those of us today feeling a little left-out of all the Rapture funsies, I say chin up! We may have failed getting into Judgement day but The End of The World is coming up on October 21st 2011 and I hear it’s gonna be a blast!